On this stage of our tour we will see some of the magnificent buildings, designed by notable architects such as Sir Christopher Wren and Sir Albert Hall, on the extensive campus of the GNOME UNIVERSITY and some of its associated colleges.

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Theo surveys the ruins of the OLD READING ROOM.

The Academical Gnomes took over this edifice when they first moved to Wessex at the invitation of Aelfred ye Cake. The building was in a parlous state of repair. Some of the walls were leaning and parts of the roof had fallen in. The Gnomes effected temporary repairs. The Old Reading Room was finally abandoned when the Gnome Uni. moved to Wess Chalkshire in the nineteenth century.



Specially designed and built for the University by Sir Albert Hall in 1896. It houses over 500,000 volumes and can accommodate 1536 readers in specially designed study carrels.
Theo poses in his G.Wiz. (Graduate in Wizardry) full dress robes.


The dome of the University SENATE BUILDING is floodlit to celebrate Dr Hieronymous T. Gnome’s 500th birthday.
It is here that the assorted bigwigs, fuzzywigs, greybeards, longbeards and assorted old farts of the University meet to make important administrative, legal and academic regulations. Hmmmm.



The Dreaming Spires of Oxenhope (Dr. Hieronymous’ alma mater)?

Actually we have no idea where it is, despite there appearing to be a Gnome University undergraduate lurking in the opening of one of the turrets. However, Theo liked the picture. He said it reminded him of the covered Victorian market in Halifax.


One of our distinguished multi-faith chaplains, a Doctor of Gnomology, entering the Gnome Uinversity Chapel. This beautiful chapel is dedicated to St. Barbera (sic), the foundress and patron of the unique order of bearded nuns – the Society of St. Barbera and St Uncumber.

UNITY COLLEGE AND UNIVERSITY, Malaga, Costa Brava and Calcutta.

UNITY COLLEGE AND UNIVERSITY, Malaga, Costa Brava and Calcutta.

This noted degree mill (whoops! distance learning emporium) is a joint venture by the Gnome University and University Cottage (sic) of Wheatley-in-the-Valley. It has recently extended its activities to the Indian sub-continent.
This is our new Calcutta campus.