Running in a parallel universe to Gnome University (defunct)

Following the persecution of Gnomes in the Carolingian Empire, the College of Gnomish Clerkes and Wiseacres removed to Wessex in 888 in the reign of King Alfred the Grate.

[Note: it was this spelling which gave rise in the 12th century to the apocryphal tale of Alfred’s burning the cakes. See “The Well-Done Bun” by Gustav the Gastronome, Trouser Press, Wheatley-in-the-Valley, 1985.]

Owing to increasing competition (and persecution) from the newly emerging institution at Oxenforde, Gnome University moved to Yorkshire in 1263.


Gnome University New Lecture Rooms

It established its current location in beautiful Goit Stock Wood in the mid 19th century courtesy of Lord St Ives.

Until the late 20th Century, Gnome University admitted only Gnomes to its courses and degrees. Although its adjunct St. Murgatroyd’s College did offer correspondence courses for non-Gnomes in the mid 1960’s.

The take-up (unlike the aforementioned Aelfred) was not great.

With the advent of the internet and the super-information-highway, the Greybeards, Longbeards, Treebeards, and Assorted Old Farts and Fogeys of the University Senate resolved to establish a Gnomical Academical Presence on the web.

Owing to a misunderstanding, the first webmaster they appointed was a Spider and little progress was made.

Gnome University was founded in Aquitaine in 759 by Pepin the Short, who was widely reputed to be an excessively tall Gnome.

Eventually Theo G. Gnome, the Master of St Murgatroyd’s College (q.v.) managed to do an online course in Rudimentary Web-page Design, and thus Gnome University Online.

However, in March 2004 Theo went missing and Gnome U was taken over by Endless Enterprises.

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These proprietors of Gnome University had announced they had acquired a controlling interest in the University College of Hopton Wafers, Shropshire (formerly Hopton Wafers and Neen Sollars College of Technology and Rural Crafts).

The Principal of University College of Hopton Wafers, Mr Mortimer Cleobury, MA (Oxbridge), has been appointed a Senior Fellow of the Gnome University.

However it should be noted that Theo before his complete disappearance gave permission to Hardly Gnome to “borrow” anything he liked from Gnome University and as such he decide to continue an alternative Gnome University known forthwith as Hardly Gnome University as of April 1st 2004.

It should be noted the the original Gnome University website was posted in April 1st 2003 ..

Thank you and bless you Theo who said he started it as a joke ..

How modest !!!

Gnome University rocks!