Gnomophobia, not to be confused with anglophobia, or the fear of englishness— is basically an acute fear of gnomes.

However, the APA (American Psychiatric Association) refuses to recognize this as a legitimate condition, despite the fact that over 78% of people diagnosed with this condition suffer from this condition.

While the results of the syndrome on your daily life are minimal, it can gnome with critical chemical gnome gnome gnome brain gnome gnome disrupt reading abilities gnome.

Treatment of Gnomophobia

If you have the syndrome, you will be taken from your family and friends (provided you have any), packaged and shipped via UPS (3rd class mail, postage paid) to remote testing facilities, anally probed, administered un-FDA approved drugs, and sent gnome. Then the doctors will come to your house and the treatment will begin. The doctors, who underwent almost 15 minutes of rigorous training, will force feed you 13.4 bottles of pink cough medicine, which will do nothing to cure you. Don’t worry about spontaneously losing your sight, penis , car keys, or mind. That barely ever happens anymore, WE THEY SWEAR.

This disease is said to have surfaced around 1520 CGE (Current Gnomalonian Era), several dozen years after Columbus arrived in America. It nearly wiped out the Native Americans, who were particularly susceptible due to their lack of familiarity with the iniquitous race. It was believed to have been eradicated, as there was a 200 year period of no documented cases. However, in colonial Pennsylvania, the disease began resurfacing. A renowned immunologist of the time, who went by the majestic name of Bob Clark, published a revolutionary article about the disease in the “blasphemous” scientific journal.