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The Canadian Edition
I'm Theophilous G. Gnome, graduate of the University Cottage [sic] of
Wheatley-in-the-Valley, Gnome University and sundry other seats, ledges
and benches of higher learning. I am pleased to offer to a discerning
public the fruits of decades of research into the finer and more abstruse
points of Gnomic Academic Dress. |
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Gnomes' very longevity
suits them to the pursuit of inexpressible, ineffable, transcendental,
metaphysical mysteries. They're also pretty good on practical matters,
such as where's the nearest pub, and whether the ale's any good.
Academic Gnomes tend to be more elusive than their Garden Cousins.
Indeed, they could be described as retiring; especially as quite a few of
them have been given as leaving presents to eminent professors and heads
of colleges. Many an Academic Gnome has languished alone in a college
garden, having for some inexplicable reason been left behind when the
previous incumbent departed.
[Cries of "Shame!" and other noises off]
Now at last, thanks to my untiring efforts, the Academic Gnomes emerge
from the murky shadows and dimly-lit forest of the wild-wood into the
brightness of the groves of academe.
Through the modern magic of the internet, the ancient fame and learning of
the Academic Gnomes may be exposed to the world. Whether for admiration
and approbation, or for derision and scorn, remains to be seen.
[From the lack of response - favorable or reproachable - from the learned
Burgon Society, the world of men gives not a toss. Ed.]
Anyway, click on the links and enjoy, chortle or sneer.
Theo G. Gnome |
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Gnomes are not generally considered
learned
in matters academics. Wise, most certainly; in an earthy, instinctive
manner. Gnomic wisdom is born of millennia of contemplation of the
mysteries of earth and rocks, of woods and deep forest pools, and (in the
last few centuries) the realm of the cultivated garden.
Many regard gnomes as rather thick academically. Do they ever consider
how gnomes think of them? Whatever - Academic Gnomes are gnoted for their
devotion to and assiduous pursuit of gnowledge in all its forms. The more
arcane, abstruse, recondite, enigmatic, inscrutable and unintelligible the
better. |
