The OFFICIAL LOONIE PARTY

all the other parties are just imposters

visit G.O.D.

 

 

Selected Party Minifestos

 

 

When we have enough Minifestos we will make a Maxifesto

Not be confused with a Manifesto.

The Official Loonie Party (OLP) is Canada's Second Virtual Political party

formed after the success of the Raving Loony Party (RLP) at the last election.

LATEST  NEWS

Lord Graham of Spruce  has been appointed Shadow Minster of Education.

He is the 18 month old grandson of party founder Hardly Himself.

 

The only thing touched up in this photo is the background -- believe it or not

 

Lord Graham was appointed after his participation in a number of successful educational & inspirational videos, including "the Cupboard Cop" and "the Piano Player" for GTV  produced by DeFroster Labs.

 

see the latest "the Phone Call"

Insanity only makes cents  ---- Vote for the Offical Loonie Party ------ all the other parties are just imposters!

Lord Pumba of Spruce 'n Bruce (a lamp post at the corner of Spruce & Bruce Streets being his calling card)

 has been appointed as Minister of D'fence due to his obvious resemblance to Sir Winston Churchill.

 

The party feels this will give us more "cred". 

Make your vote count-----Insanity only makes cents  ---- Vote for the Offical Loonie Party.

Liv  has accepted the position as Shadow Minister of Cuteness. A new position was formed just to accommodate her in the new party.

 

In the tradition of "Prince"  "Bono" & "Madonna"  she is to be known by just one name.  Nobody else could possibly be cuter, so here will be no confusion.

Canada's Second Virtual Political Party ---- Vote for the Offical Loonie Party!

Sir Leroy Brown  has taken another post ( not as in lamp). He is now Minister of D'arts.

 

"And it's bad, bad Leroy brown
The baddest dog in the whole damn town
Badder than old King Kong
And meaner than  Junkyard Dog."

It was unanimously agreed at the party meeting in August at the Black Badger that Sir Leroy did not match up to the words in the song . He looks "too sweet" . Thus his new position as Minister of D'arts.

 

Just say 301 and he will be there.

Proposals for the 2006 Party Manifesto

 

Politics

  • In reaction to the old adage, “Children are so honest” we intend to reduce the age of standing for parliament from 21 to 5. Special dispensation will also be given to cute babies to be appointed to ministerial positions. There is a clear understanding that the Civil Service runs everything anyway. They will surely incur less abuse than a obese, balding, puffing old fart.

  • All foxes will be issued with sheep’s clothing.

 

Economy

  • Introduction of a 99-cent coin to save on change.  It will be called the Gretzky after the "Great One".

  • Abolishment of the GST & PST because it’s proved unpopular & will also make the Gretzky more useful.

  • Rich people should be taxed to pay for the printing of money, as they use most of it.

  •  We'll eliminate the Black Economy by shining a light on it.

  • We will eliminate the underground economy by forbidding companies to operate in basements.  (Thom Thomas)

 

Senior Citizens (not to be confused with olds farts)

  • Meals will be served on plates not on wheels.

 

Pets

  • Anyone believing that their pet understands every word that they say to them will be asked to make the pet write a thesis to prove it.

 

Law and Order

  • Anyone caught breaking the law will be made to mend it.

 

Environment

  • All fast food will be clearly labeled “May contain traces of food”.

 

Sport

  • We intend to pressure the organizers of the Olympics to include: The Annual Witchducking Championships. (Which was abandoned 400 years ago due to contestants drinking too much).

  • We will force all Olympic teams from all countries to use the same GNOMEnclature for making comments. (Thom Thomas for Hardly Gnome)

 

Education

  • Reduction of class sizes by making pupils sit closer together.

  • Bright pupils will be provided with dimmer switches to prevent them distracting the rest of the class.

  • Any child who is cleverer than their teacher will be allowed to take over the class and the teacher will stand at the back with a dunce’s hat on. He or she will then be on half pay until he or she has learnt enough to regain the upper ground. This is our policy for child empowerment.

  • We intend to make free university tuition available to all students named Grant.

  • We will raise educational standards by requiring that all High Schools are located on the top floor of the tallest buildings in each city! They are after all "high" schools.

  • We will lower tuition fees by always printing the total at the bottom of the page.

  • We will increase support for students by requiring them to wear those special "support hose" to all academic functions.

 

Transportation

  • Rainbow stop - It is proposed that we should get rid of three colour traffic lights, and replace it with a much larger spectrum. (proposed by Liv & Lord Graham with a cue )

 

Espionage

  • Incognito- We should put video cameras on peoples heads. Then we shall send them to spy in Russia.

 

Security

  • Guard Dogs shall no longer be (permitted. they're so vicious) It is proposed that they will be replaced with Guard Tortoises, called Shelly. (proposed by Sir Leroy)

 

Equality

  • K9 IQ The true intelligence of dogs will be fully recognized and appreciated. (when did you last see a dog step in a human pooh?) (proposed by Sir Leroy & Lord Pumba)

 

Liberation

 

  • Calling for the end of the exploitation of gnomes.

    Say no to gnome delivery.

    ( proposed by Hardly Himself -- party founder)

     

Determining Factors in the formation of the Official Loonie Party

 

The size of the lie is a definite factor in causing it to be believed, for the vast masses of a nation are in the depths of their hearts more easily deceived than they are consciously and intentionally bad.

 

The primitive simplicity of their minds renders them a more easy prey to a big lie than a small one, for they themselves often tell little lies, but would be ashamed to tell big lies. Adolf Hitler

 

Could this explain why our politicians are so ineffective?

Are their lies just tooooooo small?

 

This is why you should:

 

VOTE LOONIE -- IT ONLY MAKES CENTS
 

 

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